A Culmination of Crici

Yesterday i went with a small group of friends to see the movie Bedtime Stories. i really liked it. One of the better movies that i've seen in theaters recently.

The interesting thing about the movie was that it basically boiled down to one thing: life can have a happy ending if you do something crazy to make the crummy times become better; life can have a happy ending if you choose to save the day.

That got me thinking, because i have bad days all the time. What if all it takes to remove a bad day is to break into the extra-ordinary of heroics/going that extra meter. Yet that always seems like so much work whereas just being down in the dumps is the lazy way of dealing with things.

Blech, sometimes i abhor the way i am. Especially when my devil whispers into my head to do the things that i attempt to stand against. It is very hard to not be a hypocrite. In fact, i'd say darn near impossible.

So why the title "A Culmination of Crici?" Because not only do i like to take poetic license to make my own words (here, crici is the plural of crisis) but also because all kinds of things in my life have been culminating (in a way) and some of it has been chaotic and hurtful.

One example that i like that is neither of the aforementioned (.. hmm not very good at decriptions i am) is about this girl i like. She is in the same vocal studio that i am, so i get to see her there and she also attends spanish training with me. i'm not so sure why i like her because we are drastically different in terms of our personalities. She is loud and outgoing and all for a good time while i'm quiet and reserved and more pensive (good time is still a goal, but i'd rather achieve it through talking instead of being all crazy and, for myself, embarrassing). So yeah. Um, i wrote her a note explaining that i like her and that her best friend likes me (i am mostly sure about that) and so it may not be a good thing to do anything about me liking her. i told her in the note that it wasn't a big deal and if we just let it sit, nothing would come of it, but she hasn't mentioned the note at all. Frankly, i have no idea if she read it even, and it is driving me crazy not to know!

Another crisis of late is my friend of next-door-ness told me how she hates me because i'm a hypocrite. i definitely understand that i am, but it is such a difficult thing to change. Not only that, but i try really hard not to make fun of her because she takes crap all the time, so when i'm around her if i can't think of anything nice to say, i just shut my mouth. Well, that happened too much and so she definitely is fed up with me about that and claims i make fun of her as much as my friends do (which is a whole lot and they're a bunch of jerks for it) but that is a false claim. Tonight she is having a birthday party and she even texted me about me getting pulled over for speeding this afternoon. So, i'm not sure how the night will play out.

i will put down another thing recent in my life that i would include under this title before i let you get back to your life. i am crazy about spanish, and i think my passion for it really applies to any foreign language. so i'm stoked about going to college to learn a whole lot of spanish and its culture (which is the most fascinating part of any language: the culture). But the unfortunate thing is that the best spanish teacher ever is leaving my high school right before my senior (last) year. This is devastating because our other spanish teachers have no legitimate accent and that is something crucial to my learning. So i will probably take it at the community college and so that will eat up all of my electives.

Not only that, but i have no idea where i want to go to college at. This is somewhat of a problem because people are always asking me where i am going and i always have to say i'm still looking. It'd be great to finally decide so that i could tell them definitely.

And so that's what i've got. i think i will go ahead and post another to put down some random thoughts that i wanted to squeeze in here, but they have no segway.

Until next time,
Nick